Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Good Housekeeping: Sweeping Away The Cobwebs Inside Ann Coulter's Brain


It almost is kind of effective to send out this drunken Irishman to respond to Dick Cheney. It's like sending out the White House dog. It's saying, 'We so don't respect you we're sending in Joe Biden.'

Several days ago, Ann Coulter hit a low point - and kept going lower. Talking about Joe Biden's hair plugs is one thing: it demonstrates that Coulter doesn't have enough on Biden to come up with a serious criticism. Using unfounded ethnic slurs, then saying that a grade F politician who doesn't know enough geography to answer simple(ton) questions is "twenty million times" more qualified than he is (politically) shows us that she attacks just for the sake of attacking. She thinks she's leading a group of villagers with torches, but she's only one of the mob with a rock in her hand asking "Who do I stone, who do I stone?"

It's time for the American public to forcibly retire Ann Coulter (you know she won't go away willingly). Her jibes for the sake of publicity have neither basis nor meaning. She loves the image of "muckraker" even though she cannot hold a candle to someone as intelligent as Nancy Mitford.

- “I love children, especially when they cry, for then someone takes them away”
- "Surely a King who loves pleasure is less dangerous than one who loves glory?”
- “'Always be civil to the girls, you never know who they may marry' is an aphorism which has saved many an English spinster from being treated like an Indian widow.”

Would that we could treat Ann Coulter like an Indian widow.

On Geraldo

Coulter: How about comparing Joe Biden with Sarah Palin? She's twenty million times more qualified than he is.

Rivera: How do you say that? A two-year governor against a long Senate career. Anyway --

Coulter: How long are we gonna pretend Biden is not just some drunken Irishman embarrassing Obama?

Here is a person whose livelihood is derived from insulting people. And let's admit it: people love to read/hear insulting people. Sometimes (as with Coulter, it seems) people know that pundits are trite and hackneyed liars, but don't care, as long as what they spew is about someone they're inclined to hate.

So, do we NEED Ann Coulter? No. Should we denounce her? No. She loves being the martyred Right. Can we "retire her"? I think so, but only if we're diligent about it. The fact that her book sales are on the wane is promising, but we need to do three things: a) keep holding her to account on everything she says, b) laugh at her and c) tell her she's boring.

Yes, we should fact check every word she says. Most of her "research" and "statistics" are based on questionable data. Whatever she says, mention her half-truths and lies every day in our blogs, videos and social websites. Yes, poke fun of her, not for her physical characteristics (like I sometimes do - I won't be a hypocrite - I'm evil that way and it's a whole lot of fun) poke fun at her bloviations, her reasoning, her half-assed logic. Get celebrities and comics to poke fun of her. Get Glen Beck to poke fun of her!

Yes, tell her she's boring. The loudest she screeches, the more she's apt to screw up and absolutely nothing will get a rise out of her as much as telling her that she's boring. And she is: people know HOW she's going to attack someone, WHO she's going to attack and WHEN she's going to attack someone. Her attacks are beginning to sound more like whining than polemics. And when any writer, pundit or otherwise, gets overexposed, stale, and laughed at, the reading public slowly (but surely) will back away and follow a new bloviator of bad journalism.

So, let's get to work and retire Ms. Coulter. And let's start by cleaning house.

I love to engage in repartee with people who are stupider than I am.

OK. We get the point. Ann Coulter steamrolls over the rudiments of grammar to get her point across to people. That point being: "No matter what I say, I'm smarter than you are."

Once they have fooled the voters and are safely in office, Republicans sometimes double-cross the voters. Democrats always do.

Sweeping generalizations such as these are tiresome and unoriginal. And by their inclusiveness, they are always wrong.

If we're so cruel to minorities, why do they keep coming here? Why aren't they sneaking across the Mexican border to make their way to the Taliban?

Probably because as badly as we treat minorities, they're treated worse somewhere else. And they may be more "family-oriented" than AC: sending money back home for the family to survive beats starving with the family.


Liberals become indignant when you question their patriotism, but simultaneously work overtime to give terrorists a cushion for the next attack and laugh at dumb Americans who love their country and hate the enemy

Everyone becomes indignant when you question their patriotism. Liberals get miffed because flag-wavers can't understand that you can be patriotic without painting yourself red, white and blue for a football game. And hypocrisy is always worth laughing at: "dumb Americans" love only that part of America that agrees with them and will hate who they are told to hate.

Taxes are like abortion, and not just because both are grotesque procedures supported by Democrats.

How wonderfully witty! Unfortunately, both faulty analogies have been used for years to demonize non-Coulterites.

While the form of treachery varies slightly from case to case, liberals always manage to take the position that most undermines American security.

Coulter hates anything with an open door ... or an open mind. Meanwhile, uber-conservatives manage to kill more people by engendering fear and racial profiling than any terrorist attack.

I thought gays just wanted to get married to one another and settle down in the suburbs so they could visit each other in the hospital.

Coulter's low blows can get lower, of course, but she keeps them at a level where she can safely say she doesn't "bash" homosexuals.


You would think there were "Straights Only" water fountains the way Democrats carry on so (as if any gay man would drink nonbottled water)

Stereotyping is a definitive modus operandi with Coulter. It's also easy when she doesn't know anything about the people she stereotypes.

The two videos below demonstrate how Ann Coulter is losing her relevance (her credibility went bye-bye a long time ago). The first by a man so young he couldn't possibly have had as much exposure to Coulter as the rest of us, showing what little exposure it takes for Ann Coulter to make people angry at her. The second is a clip with Joe Scarborough. His response is priceless.